Mind Blown

Auh, Good Morning to all...

Today I just feel like typing everything on my mind. I have a ton on it. I feel like if I express them here.. MAYBE Ill feel better about it.. or learn from it? I want this year to be diffferent. I am ready for a change.

Do you ever feel confused about work? or tired of work... I used to LOVE my job ;don't get me wrong I still have feeling for my job... just not the LOVE part. Ha. They over work me. They put so much on me and I get really tired of it. I especially feel like they don't help me out or pay me for what I'm worth. I have a 4 year degree people... dang it. I freaking still have student loans that I pay for and I don't even work in a way that I think I should be with my degree. I need help. Serious help.
I have thought about going back to school and getting a completely different degree. Career Change. Am I stupid??? Should I add more student loans to my plate? Am I that hungry for Sallie Mae. Doesn't sound delicious. But I was thinking and hoping that if I had more education maybe I could find the job. Excuse me the RIGHT job that paid me more. That thought I was worth the money.
When I am here working I don't really think about the money so much.. I think about the frustrating people i work with. Then on that second Friday when I get paid. I think about the money. But is it so much about the money? I mean money don't make me happy. It helps... but don't make me happy. So Do I settle for this or do I explore??? I have been at my job for almost 8 years now. I absolutly love my boss. He is such a sweetheart. Angel. I have trust in him that he will take care of me. But I know if I was to confront him with my issues he will tell me that " if your not happy here.. look for something that makes you happy". Its all about being happy.. not being wealthy. I am so scared to take the plunge of a job change. I know I need too. Just Scared.

on top of that.... Auh I know you thinking what the crap..

I would love to expand my family. I would love for Kaleb to have a little brother or sister. I would to start trying for a new baby now. I know that I cant make a baby appear in a sec. Its not up to me or Jake to say we are going to have another one. Its the Lord. But because I don't know the future I don't know weather to start trying now...or wait. And this is all going back to the job situation. I feel like if I don't hurry up and have babies then OBAMA wont let me have any haha.. this OBAMA health care crap is freaking me out. Who knows when my insurance is going to go to crap. And we know my money spill.. I don't have it . Ha. If I change jobs... My boss may not be so nice and help pay for insurance.

I feel like I will be in my 60's still paying these stupid loans. Serious. Why did my lovly parents make me go to college and make me pay for them? I am NOT doing this to Kaleb. Hands Down.

I need motivation. Change of mind. Change of job.Change of season. Change of somthing. Advise.

- Prayers PLEASE-