I want to be home soooo bad.
Since the tornado we have been put in a different house. We are comfortable but nothing is home untill we are there. I pass by my neighborhood sometimes during the week and my stomack acks. I cry everytime I go to my house. I went to my house Monday night to check the mail and my cat... and I just sat in the truck and cried my eyes out. I saw my dog walk up those steps and nudge the door. She then turned back and looked at my husband like " why arent we going in, i know this place... were home" My dog loves to sit outside and I cant put her outside at the house we are staying at. there is no fence and were on a main road. She would get ran over and I cant have that happen. I dont understand why State Farm has to be this difficult? Why can't they just write us a check for the full amount to fix our home and let us get to work so we can move back in? Why do we have to go back and forth debating on money. You would think that they would write us a check and make us happy. But no, NO> NO.. they have to be ugly and mean and cold hearted and take advantage of people. I hate them. I just got off the phone with George ( our state farm claim guy) I told him that I was ready to see the light at the end of the tunnel. He said " as em I" With that said, you would think they would get the ball rolling instead of taking their sweet time. AUH so aggreivating. I mean we should be framing and having construction at our house today. By the rate I wont be home for christmas.. and that is all I want. SOO dearly. I want my son to be home for christmas. If you are reading this blog and you know how to help us get home ... please let me know. share your opinion. I am up for anything. I am absolutely going insane. I am an emotional basketcase. Everytime I think about my home I get depressed. I want to decorate and start painting and get new things. I want to sit on my back porch and have a bbq. I want to watch my husband work in his garden and cut grass. But I cant. If you can help me please do. I need all the help I can get. I need prayers. I need something to lift my spirits. People tell me they understand but they dont. NO ONE understands what it must feel like to not be home. TO sleep in a bed that is not yours. Everyone keeps telling me to be thankful. I am . I am thankful that I am alive. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head at night. But I am so mad and so disgusted, nothing seems to make me happy. Jake asks me why I am not the same... I tell him... I cant be myself untill I am home. I pray everyday. I am a believer and I know my lord works magic. But this process makes you question. Question the lord. Question your faith. My faith can crash at any given time. I am trying my best to pray and believe and stay focused. But its hard. I need help bad. I feel worse every minute of everyday.